Due to greatly reduced circumstances, life is going to be a bit strange here.

Cutting to the chase, yes. To sum most of it up, my parents are getting a divorce. And since I still live at home, I moved with my mother and younger brother to my maternal grandparents' home, where we shall be staying until my mother can get a job and we can move into our own place. Because of this, life is now hell. Utter and complete hell.

Why, you ask, are my parents splitting? After a long and, so I thought, happy marriage? Well, for one, my father, normally an extremely smart man (an engineer for God's sake!), made the stupidest mistake in the world. He had an affair, with a jailbird hooker, no less. This was a few years ago. My parents were going to split up after that fiasco, but worked it out, more than likely for us we the children. He washed his hands of this Hooker, and she went to jail for some charge I don't remember. We sold our nice two-story house and moved into a rental on the other side of the same town. A year after that, we bought another house, smaller and one-story. Things were good for a while. Then we find out the Hooker is back, claiming she had a child that was my father's. I swear, you cannot make this shit up. Her family has many gang ties, with the addition that she is psycho. She made almost daily threats to kill my mother, and/or we children, among numerous other threats, if my father did not jump at her command. And my father stayed with her, he claimed "to protect us". My mother got fed up with all his cock and bull stories and excuses, and told him she was getting out, whether he liked it or not.

My mother hasn't worked for fifteen years; staying home to raise us children. Now she must return to school, find a job to support us, and find a rental house we can afford. And my stupid, stupid father continues to make incredibly bad decisions. He is still with her, and supporting her financially, nullifying his claims of "protecting" us from her. He is liable to lose his job, because of her; she does not seem to realize that her support from him disappears, should this happen. I no longer regard him as my father, only my biological male parent. I only miss the fun we had with him. I barely know him anymore. What really disturbs me, is my nine-going-on-ten year old brother's reaction to all of this. I do realize, as he is a young boy, it does not take much to interest or distract him. He doesn't seem to be much changed from all of the events, excepting he is more irritable and snappy than usual. The part that disturbs me is that he does not seem to miss my father at all. He does not ask to call him, or visit him. I find it strange that such a young boy is so apathetic to this. Dring the fiascos, he was understandably upset, as we all were. Now, he is occupied by his computer games and going to the pool. Should I be worried? Even more than I already am?

So, yes. Most of our belongings are in storage, and I must share a room with my brother. One of us is sure to kill the other before we find our own place.

Another horrible consequence of my father's stupidity is that we must get rid of my darling canine, and possibly my darling feline. Most places we can afford to rent do not allow pets, and if they do, mostly only cats. Lattely it seems all I've been doing is crying, and this is the cause. My feelings towards Pippin are that of a mother to her child, and my cat is an irreplaceable companion. I know I would be miserable without them. I cannot comprehend how that life would be tolerable at all. I am trying to find a loving home for both of them. Pippin is a herding dog, so I would love to find a ranch or something for him. My aunt that lives in the town we are trying to move to says she will take the cat.

In conclusion, I NEED HUGS. I am living in the Hell of the North Valley of California, am going to lose my beloved "children", have lost part of my family and my home, and am too damned far away from my friends.

Amour toujours,
Mademoiselle Rêveuse.